


shades of blue

by thatsveryambitiousofyou



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Batfamily, Batman Family, Bruce Wayne Needs a Hug, Bruce Wayne is Bad at Feelings, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, Dick Grayson is Robin, Other, batfam, idk what i was doing i'm sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:54:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24461626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatsveryambitiousofyou/pseuds/thatsveryambitiousofyou
Summary: Dick Grayson has blue eyes.Or the one where Bruce tries harder
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne
Comments: 39
Kudos: 417
Collections: Dick Grayson, the batman family





	shades of blue

Dick Grayson has blue eyes. That’s what Bruce Wayne remembers the most that day. He had blue eyes, and one moment they were shining, happy, radiant against the red of his costume, and the next they were terrified, wet, like suddenly they turned black from the fear. 

(Bruce doesn’t want to remember them anymore. He can’t keep the first memory without thinking about the second one. It’s _selfish, selfish, selfish_ because Dick Grayson remembers more than eyes that day.) 

He starts seeing blue in everything. 

He sees it in the reflection of the sky against his car mirror. He sees it in his suit, in the Kevlar shielding his heart. He sees it when he stares at his hands, at the bluish veins that mean he’s survived another night. 

It scares him when he starts seeing it in the empty room across his own, with blue beds and blue curtains. He sees it in his office, in the blue and white paint lining his walls and in the empty blue chair where he thinks someone else could be. He sees it when he closes his eyes and knows what he has to do. 

It terrifies him beyond all comprehension when he sees blue in the ink of the papers that meant Dick Grayson was his. 

When he picks Dick up from the orphanage a week later, his eyes are still blue. But they’re lonelier, angrier, and Bruce Wayne thinks it’s the same shade of blue as his. 

* * *

Bruce Wayne doesn’t stop becoming Batman. 

He knows, intimately, that it’s his most important role, and now a little boy back at home needs him to do it well. So he tails Tony Zucco, focusing on him, and it haunts him everyday. He doesn’t stop thinking about it, doesn’t stop working until he knows that Dick will have some peace he never had.

Tony Zucco whistles when he walks, skipping and smiling and winking at women who don’t want it. It feels like a personal attack, prickling at every nerve in Bruce’s body and he wants to jump on him, beat him bloody, scare him shitless. 

But that’s not what Dick needs. 

So it’s not what he does. 

* * *

He hasn’t seen Dick in a few weeks except during meals at the weekends.

Dick tries to talk to him, and Bruce asks him questions here and there, but his mind wanders to Tony Zucco still, and Dick’s words fall on deaf ears. 

Bruce snaps out of it, and looks at Dick quietly playing with his food, mouth closed and eyes looking down. Bruce shakes his head, trying to refocus, and asks him about his story, and the tone he uses slaps him across the face as sounding uninterested ( _he’s just tired, that’s all he ever is, but he never allows himself to say that_ ) and Dick stays silent. 

Dick stops trying. 

* * *

After each patrol, Bruce makes sure to go to Dick’s room. 

His door is never locked, and Bruce opens it slightly, just enough to poke his head through the opening. He watches Dick for a few seconds, watching his chest go up and down, up and down, up and down - the slow rhythm of a living heartbeat, and he finds himself leaning against the frame of the door, just watching. 

For a moment, gunshots no longer ring in his ears. Instead, all he hears is Dick snoring softly, the soft squeak of his elephant toy as he pulls her in closer, snuggling his face against the pillows. 

Bruce walks towards Dick, careful to make sure his footsteps are silent against the wood. He sits on his bed, and carefully brushes away the locks of hair on his forehead. He puts his hands against Dick’s cheek, softly runs his thumb across Dick’s forehead and brows. 

Dick leans into the touch, and puts a small hand on top of his, and it warms Bruce’s whole being - to his fingertips down to his feet. 

Dick stirs, and opens sleepy eyes. Dick smiles, “Bruce,” he whispers, hugging Bruce’s arm. “Miss you,” he says after a beat. He closes his eyes again, and, after a few seconds, goes back to snoring. Bruce feels his whole heart burst against his chest, and he knows the sight of it will break him. 

He loves Dick, he realizes, loves him with every bit he can give, and he thinks this should terrify him - what has love done but leave him broken? 

And yet, even when Dick’s grip loosens, he finds himself lingering, pressing his lips against the boy’s forehead. 

“Miss you too,” Bruce says, and he thinks the truth of it is going to swallow him whole. 

* * *

Bruce Wayne buys a camera. 

It’s cheap, not nearly the best his money can buy, but Bruce thinks that it’ll do just fine. 

When Alfred asks about it, Bruce says that he’s going to use it for his investigations, to take pictures of suspects or evidence that he won’t otherwise be able to take to the cave. 

Alfred doesn’t mention that his cowl is already hooked with cameras that have infinitely better quality than the one he bought. 

And when Alfred is assigned to comms one evening and he finds the camera’s memory filled with photos of Dick ( _Dick smiling, Dick in his uniform, Dick, Dick, Dick_ ), he doesn’t mention that either. 

* * *

Bruce still isn’t as home as much as he should be, he knows. 

He knows that Dick asks for him every night when he’s out patrolling, looking for Tony Zucco, trying to clean the streets, being the Batman. 

He’s convinced himself that Dick will appreciate what he’s doing, that Dick wants this more than he realizes. He’s convinced himself that this is what’s best for Dick. Because, really, that’s all he wants for him - for Dick to know his parents’ killer was brought to justice. 

He wants Dick to sleep and not dream of screaming and rope breaking. 

This is what he tells Alfred too. Alfred just looks at him like he’s said the wrong thing ( _Alfred looks at him that way a lot these days_ ). 

* * *

“From now on, Tony Zucco gets my undivided attention,” he says one evening after patrol, just after an altercation with Zucco. He hands Alfred his cape, and begins typing away at the computer, looking for possible leads. 

For Dick, he thinks. 

“How fortunate for Zucco,” Alfred says, his tone angry and upset, “because there’s a little boy up there who’s just aching for some of that attention.” 

“I’m doing this for him,” says Bruce, and the exhaustion in his voice shocks him. He drops his body on his chair, and massages his temples, trying to suppress the headache he knows is coming. “He needs this, Alfred,” he says. His voice sounds uncertain.

“Bruce,” Alfred begins, and he understands that this is something he needs to listen to, “he needs you more.” 

Bruce begins typing, and Alfred leaves.

* * *

Bruce is tired. 

More tired than he usually is anyway. His conversation with Alfred had left him exhausted, and he couldn’t concentrate on any work he sought to do that night. 

He sighs, and lets the computer run tracking overnight. Hopefully tomorrow will be a bit more fruitful. 

He takes a quick shower and sighs when the hot water touches his body. The exhaustion creeps up at him, his eyes barely staying open as he takes the climb upstairs, and wonders for a moment if sleeping on the couch would be fine, if just for tonight. His body feels heavy, like it’s about to give up on him, but he doesn’t forget to check on Dick when he passes by his room. 

It’s the only thing he knows how to do right by Dick. 

When he opens the door, he expects to see his boy, all of nine years old, sleeping, clutching Zitka close to his chest and snoring softly. 

Instead, he finds the bed empty. 

* * *

Bruce is panicking. He thinks he’s going to vomit, and he’s been calling Alfred every five minutes just in case Dick comes home. Everytime Alfred tells him he hasn’t, the sound of a gunshot rings louder and louder in his ears. 

His hands are shaking and all he can do to steady is grip so hard at the steering wheel that his knuckles turn white. He drives around Gotham for a few hours, jumps across roofs, and calls Gordon to help him look for Bruce Wayne’s ward. 

His ward. _His_ boy. 

The computer tracks a boy who looks similar to Dick Grayson, and Bruce gets there in half the time the computer estimates. Bruce jumps on the rooftop, looking for him, when he spots Zucco pointing a gun at a boy. 

The boy looks frantically for a way out, and Bruce would know those eyes anywhere. 

Batman jumps for Dick Grayson just as Tony Zucco pulls the trigger. 

* * *

He reaches Dick just in time, but the bullet still hits him on his shoulder, just between his armour, and he feels his back wet with blood. 

He throws a batarang at Zucco, hitting his arm. When he drops the gun, Bruce kicks him in the chest, and Zucco hits the wall behind him just hard enough to knock him unconscious. 

Bruce looks at Dick and scans him for any injuries. Besides his shaking, Bruce can tell that he’s alright. 

“Hey,” Bruce says, his voice entirely Batman’s, “Are you okay?” 

“Yes, Sir,” the fear in Dick’s voice hits him the gut. Bruce approaches him, and Dick takes a few steps back, his shaking even worse than it was before.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Bruce says. “I promise. Do you trust me?” 

Dick looks at Zucco’s unconscious body before darting his eyes back at Batman. He nods, unsure, but when Batman approaches him, he doesn’t step away. 

Bruce towers over him, and he grabs Dick’s waist to carry him, and Dick wraps his arms around his neck and buries his face on his shoulder, and Dick begins to cry.

Bruce realizes how small his boy is, how vulnerable, and he hugs him tighter. “Let’s get you home, okay?” 

“I want my Mom and Dad,” Dick cries harder, and Bruce rubs his hand against Dick’s back to comfort him.

“I know,” Bruce says. “We’ll get you home soon.” 

Dick nods again, but he continues crying. “I want Bruce,” Dick says, and his heart shatters. 

* * *

Bruce takes Dick to the cave. 

Dick is quiet the whole ride going there, and Bruce realizes with dread that he wouldn’t know if it was unusual or not. He hasn’t driven around enough with Dick to know for sure. 

Bruce feels the blood on his armour, the wetness on his skin, and he isn’t sure how long he’ll manage with his blood loss.

He opens the doors when they get there, and Dick steps out reluctantly. 

All Bruce hears is Dick’s voice saying, “Alfie?” before everything goes black. 

* * *

Before his mind completely goes, all Bruce can think about is that being Batman pales in every comparison to being wanted by Dick. 

He knows that Batman is no longer his most important role - being Dick’s is. 

* * *

He dreams of blue, scared eyes searching for him in the dark. 

* * *

He wakes up momentarily to find Dick curled up on his chest, his chest going up and down, up and down, and Bruce thinks the world is okay again. 

* * *

He dreams of eyes that are closed. He dreams of three graves instead of two. 

* * *

Bruce wakes up again, and this time his bedside is empty. He begins to panic, wondering where Dick could be, if someone had taken him. 

He sits upright and begins taking out the IV attached to his arm. If Dick is gone again, he can’t waste any more time. He has to find him. 

Alfred rushes to his side in a moment, and tells him, “Master Dick is upstairs. He’s alright.” 

That’s all Bruce needs to hear before he lays down and falls asleep again. 

* * *

In this dream, Dick Grayson is a baby. He smiles at Bruce, toothless and happy, and he has the same shade of blue in his eyes. Bruce hugs him close to his chest. 

* * *

A week later, Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson stand in the middle of the cave. (Dick has started to affectionately call it the Batcave, and Bruce doesn’t stop him)

Dick Grayson raises his right hand, and swears an oath. Bruce looks him in the eyes, and he thinks that he would know that shade of blue anywhere. 

It’s the first time he realizes that there’s a hint of hazel in them. 

Six months later, Robin makes his first appearance. 

* * *

Bruce Wayne lives in blue now. 

He watches Dick eat his pancakes, blueberries scattered along his plate and syrup dripping down from his chin as he attempts to tell Bruce about the week he’s had in between the short minutes that he has for breakfast before he has to head to school. 

Alfred calls Dick from outside, and Dick pouts, not yet finished with his story, and Bruce chuckles. Dick jumps from his chair, and hugs him quickly, but Bruce puts a hand on his shoulder, and Dick looks at him, smiling, still. 

Bruce smiles, looking at Dick, and wipes the syrup from the corners of his mouth and fixes his tie ( _blue_ ) and smoothens his vest ( _blue_ ), patting him gently on his cheek. 

Dick grins at him, and the blue of his eyes shine, and Bruce realizes that they’re his favourite color. 

* * *

Alfred tells him that Dick Grayson is going to have an acrobatic competition on Thursday at 9:00pm, roughly the same time Tony Zucco will be meeting with a gang to buy a new crate of drugs. 

He tells Alfred this, and Alfred nods, understanding. 

“I’ll tell Gordon,” Bruce says as Alfred heads towards the Manor. 

* * *

Thursday comes, and Batman is nowhere to be seen during the drug raid, but Zucco doesn’t get away. Commissioner Gordon makes one of the most successful arrests in his career. 

On Friday, a headline on the Gotham tabloid appears: **BRUCE WAYNE SUPPORTS WARD DURING COMPETITION, SITS IN THE FIRST ROW AND ALLEGEDLY FIGHTS WITH RIVAL MOMS**. 

Dick keeps the newspaper clipping under his bed, right beside his photo with Bruce and his trophy. 

* * *

Bruce Wayne looks at his face in the mirror, looks at the scars forming on his neck, at the bruise on his left temple from last night’s fight. He rubs at his five o’clock shadow, and touches the spot where his nose was broken two weeks ago. 

He looks at his eyes. They’re blue, and they’re not as tired as they used to be. They’re still lonely and angry. 

But they’re happier, better, and he thinks that they’re the same shade of blue as Dick’s. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> hi! i'm super surprised you made it this far! i know my writing isn't good :(( mainly because i haven't really written in months (years) but i'm still pretty happy about this one! i just wanted to get a quick fic out because i've really, really, really missed it and i wanted to contribute to this fandom! 
> 
> some of alfred's dialogue is from batman: the animated series!


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